So you think it’s time? I am asking you just to make sure you know what you’re in for and how your life will change. But if you have already made up your mind, don’t let me stop you just start enjoying the incredible journey. I am not trying to sound mean in anyway but I hope you have answered all the questions to yourself before proceeding into motherhood. If haven’t, here are questions to ask yourself before having a baby.
Am I ready?
You’re probably thinking of course am ready, but I mean ready emotionally, physically and mentally for yourself and not ready just because your parents, in-laws and friends are. You need to be deciding this at your own terms and not because you have pressure from family to have a baby. Emotionally, you are going to have melt downs and lots of changes occurring and also physically are you ready for you to see your body changing, and be okay with that, If you know you have figured that part out, then you are one decision to check off.
Am I financially ready?
The money aspect is always a touchy subject but has to be dealt with, being ready financially doesn’t mean you have to have hundreds of thousands in the bank for you to have a baby, it just means that you have a bit extra to buy the necessities before the baby arrives and also during your pregnancy, you might need to spend extra costs which you never knew would show up. This is usually up for debate whereby most women may say that having a baby is expensive but it doesn’t have to be. If you can be able to forego the bassinet for a stroller and compromise when it comes to the new baby gadgets out there that make mothers want to buy everything, then you will be fine. So if you have decided to have a baby, only stick with the necessities.
Do I have a support system?
Having a baby is not an easy task and you need to ask yourself this question because you will need support from family and friends. If you don’t get along with them, I suggest you start baking some cookies and drop of a bottle of wine once in a while because you will need some help. I mean If you are with your husband you might say that’s enough support but this is all about what YOU would ask yourself.
During and after the pregnancy, you need a support system to be around to talk to and help you around when you just need ten minutes to yourself and not have to think whether you should be breastfeeding or not. When I had my son, I was alone in a foreign country and as much as I got through it, I really wished I could have some extra support. Make sure you have someone there to be able to support you once in a while. Read about postpartum depression here.
What about disabilities?
We always pray and wish for the best during and after pregnancy, but you can never know, are you ready to deal with a situation when you’re told something is wrong with your child? This is all where all the above comes to question, mentally ready, emotionally, support system and how would you deal with it. I am not saying anything is going to happen but we have to talk about it and as much as every parent wishes for the best, things happen and everyone finds a way to recover from it.
Am I willing to give up my time?
Babies require a lot of attention and you will have to adjust to that by knowing that you will not have as much free time as you did before. You will have to be okay with not getting time to do stuff you used to do when you had no baby and try to figure out how to use your time. So you can start forgetting about girls’ night outs and partying for a while or until you have adjusted to the life with a newborn.
Will I need childcare?
Depending on whether or not you are going to go back to work after the baby is born is also something to think about, and ask yourself if you are willing to get childcare for the duration of time you will be at work, If you decide you want childcare, you need to make sure you are able to pay for that and that’s where being financially ready comes in, so you see that having a child is a wonderful time in a woman’s life but before it happens, you need to have really thought about it and be happy with your answers.
What if I have a baby before asking myself these questions?
Yes it happens, and as much as it can be the last thing you ever thought of, I am just going to tell you that it’s not the end of the world and that women are strong and have been doing this for a long time just calm down, get some advice and know that you will manage one way or another and you will learn from your mistakes and know to be careful next time.
What did you think?
I hope I have been able to give you some of the questions to ask yourself before having a baby and if you are ready, I wish you all the best for you and your little one. For more posts about children, see here and here. If you have any questions or anything to add to this, please feel free to comment below.